Today I met up with my friend of 22 years, Kevin Brennan, who reminded me of something important.
As kids we were dirtbag BMXers with expensive taste (he liked houses and I liked cars), which meant that, first of all, we were weird. It also meant that we both needed to navigate our way into careers that paid in actual currency instead of free merch.
But how? Turns out, we each had an experience that showed us what was possible.
Kevin’s experience: walking into his first LA mansion. He expected it to be lavish and boring — instead it was lavish with punk rock posters on the wall. Turned out to be the home of an ex skateboarder. Wealth and personality, intertwined and rare display.
My experience: I met a fashion exec who lived an interesting life and invited me into it. Highly accomplished friends, great books, travel. He got me hired at his company, and even though he was 7 levels above me, I could envision a path to where he was.
We both thought: OK, this is possible. Guys like us can (eventually) live like this. We could taste it.
After that, Kevin and I got serious about the whole “you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” thing, which of course meant that encountering people more successful than us wasn’t just inevitable, it was intentional.
Each of those new encounters was exciting. It turbocharged us toward our dreams.
Comparing is not competing. It’s inspiration, contextualized. Looking to others gives a quick visual of what’s within reach, and looking at your former self is a quick reminder of how far you've come. Compare all day.